Tuesday, 26 July 2011

End of days....

Well that's it I have lost my fabulous horse of a lifetime. Modetia didn't make it in her struggle with laminitis, having looked like all was going well she suddenly looked pottery again over the weekend and new x-rays yesterday showed that her pedal bones had rotated to within a couple of millimetres from the soles of her feet. The minute the x-ray flashed onto the screen I stopped listening to the vets talking and it all became background noise as I looked at my beautiful horse and knew that we had reached the end of the line. The vets took an x-ray of the other foot but it was immaterial I knew that I had lost my horse and that is  truly awful feeling.
In top form at Blair Castle.

I have had Modetia since she was a fiery five year old and she was looking at me now a beautiful 17 year old. I never thought that I would be lucky enough to own a horse like her - she made me feel more alive every time that I rode her - she loved her showjumping - never refusing any reasonable question and generously helping me out with her scope when I put her into a less than perfect spot in front of a fence. Her forte was 'clapping her hands' - when she was feeling really good she used to take great joyous leaps into the air and bound along for a few strides. These bounds were never difficult to sit on rather you just felt sheer joir de vive welling up through her and it always made me smile. Apart from when she decided a crowded collecting ring was the place for this party piece! She also used to spin 360 degrees quick as a whippet and when she was a youngster and I wasn't paying attention she landed me on my ample derriere more times than I care to remember. But she was brave as a lion over a fence and I will never forget the feeling of power and confidence she gave me.
Could I please come out out of this horrible weather I am not meant to be an eskimo.
For all her sharpness she loved attention and one unforgettable memory is the sight of her happily enjoying the attention of four small five year old children all diligently brushing different bits of her. She wasn't a fan of bad weather and if she heard rain on the roof in the morning would just keep her head down when the other horses were getting put out hoping that no one would notice she was still  in. She also bred me two stunning foals although I suspected she didn't enjoy being a broodmare as much as being ridden and so in her later years she returned to work and thoroughly enjoyed looking after two friends of mine over fences. I also still enjoyed riding her as even in her late teens, although the spin was slower she still enjoyed clapping her hands together on a sunny day.
Modetia as a teenager enjoying turning a hoof to something different with Ferne.
All these things and much more will leave an ache in me for a long time. She was such a healthy horse all her life that it never occurred to me she wouldn't be an old lady pottering around the farm for years to come and goodness me I will miss her. Part of joy for me in having horses is developing that deep relationship with them that means they become a huge part of your everyday  life.
So as the vet and I walked her down the field today to her end of days it was, as it always is, a mixture of gut wrenching sadness at the death of a beloved horse and relief that you know you can end their pain.
Life was for living for Modetia - and that's how I will remember her.
Thanks to some good friends
My thanks to my friends on the yard who helped make her last few box rest weeks more comfortable with their care and grooming sessions for her, and to my super vet Ainslie Smith of Eden Vet Practice in Cupar who gave her the utmost care and attention.

1 comment:

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